Driven by Him (Rambles of little red)

dog

2012-02-07T06:16:00.002-05:00

I wish I knew what was wrong with me lately. I am tired, unmotivated and just ill. I know life gets to me somedays, but somedays I want to get to life. I sit here at 6am and type. I would much rather be in the bed. The rest of the house sleeps for now, except the faithful dog which has awakened from his slumber to get his morning meal. Back to the couch he goes. Oh how I wish to be him somedays. No agenda, no plans, no responsibilities. Ahhh the life of a dog.

'God projects'

2011-08-08T05:57:00.002-04:00

Romans 9: 30-33

We would have ended up like ghost towns,
like Sodom and Gomorrah. How can we sum this up? All those people who didn't seem interested in what God was doing actually embraced what God was doing as he straightened out their lives. And Israel, who seemed so interested in reading and talking about what God was doing, missed it. How could they miss it? Because instead of trusting God, they took over. They were absorbed in what they themselves were doing. They were so absorbed in their "God projects" that they didn't notice God right in front of them, like a huge rock in the middle of the road. And so they stumbled into him and went sprawling.

need a break

2011-08-05T06:38:00.001-04:00

^{Psalm 69:13} And me? I pray. God, it's time for a break!

kickstand

2011-07-04T21:54:00.002-04:00

they come out riding bikes on the stage.... one child struggles with his kickstand, but bikes finally get parked, they pretend to be playing in the park.... walking away in the distance off the stage. the scene is now set for the start of the series...Kickstand.

OPEN

2011-06-24T22:21:00.002-04:00

saw this sign in a business over a year ago... that got me to thinking.... am I OPEN to what God has for me, my life, my possessions, my family? some days I don't think God really wants us to say yes or no but to just say I am open, willing and available.

trashed

2011-06-24T22:16:00.002-04:00

took the trash out today and was just thinking.... most people that have to haul off their own garbage usually make sure all the cans are emptied, all the garbage is bagged and out. God wants ALL of us... including our garbage. no need to hide any of it from him or leave any cans unemptied. He wants all of us, the good and the bad, so he can make us the best. True the cans will get filled daily, weekly, monthly... but it is our job to make sure that we give it to God, so he can haul it off.

Godly direction

2011-06-16T22:03:00.003-04:00

One step towards God is one step in the right direction.

taking away more than you bring

2011-05-29T08:06:00.000-04:00

2Chron 9:12
¹² King Solomon, for his part, gave the queen of Sheba all her heart's desire—everything she asked for. She took away more than she brought. Satisfied, she returned home with her train of servants.

accomplishments

2011-05-29T08:04:00.001-04:00

2 Chron. 8:1-6
^{1 -6} At the end of twenty years, Solomon had quite a list of ^{1 -6} At the end of twenty years, Solomon had quite a list of accomplishments. He had:
built The Temple of God and his own palace;
rebuilt the cities that Hiram had given him and colonized them with Israelites;
marched on Hamath Zobah and took it;
fortified Tadmor in the desert and all the store-cities he had founded in Hamath;
built the fortress cities Upper Beth Horon and Lower Beth Horon, complete with walls, gates, and bars;
built Baalath and store-cities;
built chariot-cities for his horses.

Solomon built impulsively and extravagantly—whenever a whim took him. And in Jerusalem, in Lebanon—wherever he fancied.

2 Chron.7:2-3

2011-05-29T07:56:00.001-04:00

God so filled The Temple that there was no room for the priests! When all Israel saw the fire fall from heaven and the Glory of God fill The Temple, they fell on their knees, bowed their heads, and worshiped, thanking God:
Yes! God is good! His love never quits!

cleaning on my knees

2011-05-28T22:36:00.001-04:00

i cleaned the bathroom floor on my knees today... and quiet frankly, you get a different perspective down there.... see areas you just normally don't see, areas that most disreguard. got me to thinking about my relationship with God and how getting on our knees makes us see things different and can help us see areas that need cleaning better than when we are standing.

luke 22 safe distance

2011-05-04T06:32:00.000-04:00

^{54 -56}Arresting Jesus, they marched him off and took him into the house of the Chief Priest. Peter followed, but at a safe distance.

1 kings 18 (the fence)

2011-05-04T06:24:00.001-04:00

²¹ Elijah challenged the people: "How long are you going to sit on the fence? If God is the real God, follow him; if it's Baal, follow him. Make up your minds!"

sin

2011-05-02T06:18:00.000-04:00

Luke 22

The Passover Meal

^{1 -2}The Feast of Unleavened Bread, also called Passover, drew near. The high priests and religion scholars were looking for a way to do away with Jesus but, fearful of the people, they were also looking for a way to cover their tracks.

^{3 -6}That's when Satan entered Judas, the one called Iscariot. He was one of the Twelve. Leaving the others, he conferred with the high priests and the Temple guards about how he might betray Jesus to them. They couldn't believe their good luck and agreed to pay him well. He gave them his word and started looking for a way to betray Jesus, but out of sight of the crowd.

challenge words

2011-04-30T13:57:00.002-04:00

Most recently, someone was telling me about a person that we both know. She said " the more I get to know her, the less I admire and respect her." I could hear my own heart asking the question "do they say the same of me?" We must live our lives in such a way, that the more people know us, the more they respect us.

2 sam 24

2011-04-26T06:20:00.001-04:00

^{24 -25} But the king said to Araunah, "No. I've got to buy it from you for a good price; I'm not going to offer God, my God, sacrifices that are no sacrifice."

heavy heart

2011-04-20T06:26:00.001-04:00

2Sam 11:^{14 -15} In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. In the letter he wrote, "Put Uriah in the front lines where the fighting is the fiercest. Then pull back and leave him exposed so that he's sure to be killed."

^{16 -17} So Joab, holding the city under siege, put Uriah in a place where he knew there were fierce enemy fighters. When the city's defenders came out to fight Joab, some of David's soldiers were killed, including Uriah the Hittite.

^{18 -21} Joab sent David a full report on the battle. He instructed the messenger, "After you have given to the king a detailed report on the battle, if he flares in anger, say, 'And by the way, your servant Uriah the Hittite is dead.'"

^{22 -24} Joab's messenger arrived in Jerusalem and gave the king a full report. He said, "The enemy was too much for us. They advanced on us in the open field, and we pushed them back to the city gate. But then arrows came hot and heavy on us from the city wall, and eighteen of the king's soldiers died."

²⁵ When the messenger completed his report of the battle, David got angry at Joab. He vented it on the messenger: "Why did you get so close to the city? Didn't you know you'd be attacked from the wall? Didn't you remember how Abimelech son of Jerub-Besheth got killed? Wasn't it a woman who dropped a millstone on him from the wall and crushed him at Thebez? Why did you go close to the wall!"

"By the way," said Joab's messenger, "your servant Uriah the Hittite is dead."

Then David told the messenger, "Oh. I see. Tell Joab, 'Don't trouble yourself over this. War kills—sometimes one, sometimes another—you never know who's next. Redouble your assault on the city and destroy it.' Encourage Joab."

^{26 -27} When Uriah's wife heard that her husband was dead, she grieved for her husband. When the time of mourning was over, David sent someone to bring her to his house. She became his wife and bore him a son.

Uriah carried his own death sentence and did not have a clue. Joab was ordered to carry it out, knowing that Uriah would surely die. In the end, David sends a note to try to encourage Joab's heavy heart and guilt.

not listening

2011-04-20T06:22:00.002-04:00

^{Luke 15:22 -24}"But the father wasn't listening. He was calling to the servants, 'Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We're going to feast! We're going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!' And they began to have a wonderful time.

^{25 -27}"All this time his older son was out in the field. When the day's work was done he came in. As he approached the house, he heard the music and dancing. Calling over one of the houseboys, he asked what was going on. He told him, 'Your brother came home. Your father has ordered a feast—barbecued beef!—because he has him home safe and sound.'

^{28 -30}"The older brother stalked off in an angry sulk and refused to join in. His father came out and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen. The son said, 'Look how many years I've stayed here serving you, never giving you one moment of grief, but have you ever thrown a party for me and my friends? Then this son of yours who has thrown away your money on whores shows up and you go all out with a feast!'

^{31 -32}"His father said, 'Son, you don't understand. You're with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours—but this is a wonderful time, and we had to celebrate. This brother of yours was dead, and he's alive! He was lost, and he's found!'"

The father wasn't listening, because he had already heard his son's plea by his action of coming home. The son wouldn't listen because he couldn't see.

stumbling oxen

2011-04-19T06:10:00.002-04:00

^{2 Sam. 6:3 -7} They placed the Chest of God on a brand-new oxcart and removed it from Abinadab's house on the hill. Uzzah and Ahio, Abinadab's sons, were driving the new cart loaded with the Chest of God, Ahio in the lead and Uzzah alongside the Chest. David and the whole company of Israel were in the parade, singing at the top of their lungs and playing mandolins, harps, tambourines, castanets, and cymbals. When they came to the threshing floor of Nacon, the oxen stumbled, so Uzzah reached out and grabbed the Chest of God. God blazed in anger against Uzzah and struck him hard because he had profaned the Chest. Uzzah died on the spot, right alongside the Chest."

They carried the chest on a brand spanking new cart. They were parading down the street, singing and playing instruments. The oxen stumbled. Maybe the oxen was weary. Maybe the oxen was old. Maybe the oxen just miss stepped. But the oxen stumbled. The man Uzzah reached out, perhaps to steady it. He died right there in the streets on the parade route.

leaking on the inside

2011-04-14T21:25:00.002-04:00

just when you think no more pitfalls can come your way, the new (2year old) roof leaks and not just in one place, I might add, but 4. yep, leaking in the inside. things look fine on the outside. new architectural shin. and curb appeal. go in and things look fine.... look up. there's a leak in there, and not just in one spot. you are leaking on the inside... ceiling has turned brown with a ring and a water mark runs down the side of your walls... a simple paint job could hide, but in time it would appear again. the roofer is called back and hopeful amends remedy the problem.

David the leader

2011-04-13T06:10:00.001-04:00

1 Samuel 22

Saul Murders the Priests of God

^{1 -2} So David got away and escaped to the Cave of Adullam. When his brothers and others associated with his family heard where he was, they came down and joined him. Not only that, but all who were down on their luck came around—losers and vagrants and misfits of all sorts. David became their leader. There were about four hundred in all...

^{14 -15} Ahimelech answered the king, "There's not an official in your administration as true to you as David, your own son-in-law and captain of your bodyguard. None more honorable either. Do you think that was the first time I prayed with him for God's guidance? Hardly! But don't accuse me of any wrongdoing, me or my family. I have no idea what you're trying to get at with this 'outlaw' talk."

pj day

2011-04-02T11:10:00.000-04:00

Sore throat today and ear hurting again.... laundry to do and so much around the house that I am trying not to over look. Feeling bad today and it is Saturday. Jon and Nathan have run off to Statesboro and you know I am just not motivated to get around here if they left without me. A honk of a car horn and I pretend no one is home. I peak out the window as soon as "he" is gone only to find a package on the patio table from my best friend. Glad I stayed home today!

Thanks and I am going to shower, put a clean set of pj's on and curl up on the bed with the book of my friend.

judges 10

2011-03-30T06:20:00.001-04:00

¹⁵ The People of Israel said to God: "We've sinned. Do to us whatever you think best, but please, get us out of this!"

¹⁶ Then they cleaned house of the foreign gods and worshiped only God. And God took Israel's troubles to heart.

(ever said a prayer like this? they didn't just pray, they put prayer in action and cleaned house. then God took their troubles to heart.)

yet to receive

2011-03-24T06:28:00.000-04:00

Joshua 18

The Shiloh Survey

^{1 -2} Then the entire congregation of the People of Israel got together at Shiloh. They put up the Tent of Meeting. The land was under their control but there were still seven Israelite tribes who had yet to receive their inheritance.

^{3 -5} Joshua addressed the People of Israel: "How long are you going to sit around on your hands, putting off taking possession of the land that God, the God of your ancestors, has given you?

motives

2011-01-21T18:40:00.002-05:00

God sees your tears and hears the beat and motives of your heart.

open door

2011-01-02T14:30:00.001-05:00

Standing before an open door never resulted in a single changed life. Walking through an open door has changed the lives of millions. Are you willing to walk through it? (from Charles Stanley's Pathway to His Presence)

1Cor. 16:9 For a great and effective door has opened to me and there are many adversaries.

joel 2

2010-12-14T06:30:00.001-05:00

Joel 2:¹² But there's also this, it's not too late—
God's personal Message!— "Come back to me and really mean it!
Come fasting and weeping, sorry for your sins!"

^{13 -14}Change your life, not just your clothes.
Come back to God, your God. And here's why: God is kind and merciful.
He takes a deep breath, puts up with a lot, This most patient God, extravagant in love,
always ready to cancel catastrophe. Who knows? Maybe he'll do it now,
maybe he'll turn around and show pity. Maybe, when all's said and done,
there'll be blessings full and robust for your God!"

fresh heart

2010-10-19T06:19:00.000-04:00

2 Thes. 2: ^{15 -17}

So, friends, take a firm stand, feet on the ground and head high. Keep a tight grip on what you were taught, whether in personal conversation or by our letter. May Jesus himself and God our Father, who reached out in love and surprised you with gifts of unending help and confidence, put a fresh heart in you, invigorate your work, enliven your speech.

turning your life around

2010-10-19T06:15:00.001-04:00

^{Isaiah 58:6 -9}

"This is the kind of fast day I'm after:
to break the chains of injustice,
get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
free the oppressed,
cancel debts. What I'm interested in seeing you do is:
sharing your food with the hungry,
inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
being available to your own families. Do this and the lights will turn on,
and your lives will turn around at once. Your righteousness will pave your way.
The God of glory will secure your passage. Then when you pray, God will answer.
You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.'

jobless

2010-10-03T07:54:00.002-04:00

Isaiah 19: ^{5 -10}The River Nile will dry up, the riverbed baked dry in the sun. The canals will become stagnant and stink, every stream touching the Nile dry up. River vegetation will rot away
the banks of the Nile-baked clay, The riverbed hard and smooth, river grasses dried up and gone with the wind. Fishermen will complain that the fishing's been ruined. Textile workers will be out of work, all weavers and workers in linen and cotton and wool Dispirited, depressed in their forced idleness— everyone who works for a living, jobless."

wow. very similar to the things of today. with the oil spill leaving many fishermen out of work and saying their fishing has been ruined, the mills closing nearby and people become dispirited and depressed.....

thanking God right now for an open window and opportunity at SCES. i know i can do anything with you that you give me to do.... but help me to do it to the best of who you created me to be

boulder blocking the way

2010-09-29T06:21:00.000-04:00

Isaiah 8:11-15

A Boulder Blocking Your Way

^{11 -15}God spoke strongly to me, grabbed me with both hands and warned me not to go along with this people. He said:

"Don't be like this people,
always afraid somebody is plotting against them. Don't fear what they fear.
Don't take on their worries. If you're going to worry,
worry about The Holy. Fear God-of-the-Angel-Armies. The Holy can be either a Hiding Place
or a Boulder blocking your way, The Rock standing in the willful way
of both houses of Israel, A barbed-wire Fence preventing trespass
to the citizens of Jerusalem. Many of them are going to run into that Rock
and get their bones broken, Get tangled up in that barbed wire
and not get free of it."

liar

2010-08-27T22:18:00.003-04:00

satan sufficates me with his lies. i can't breathe. i can't pray. he throws himself across my mouth. i gasp. no words come out. the fear is on my face along with his tail. my eyes speak. i drawn in my own salava. he shouts his lies loud above my racing heart. i panic and search the room for help. i want to get out of this entrapment. don't know what to do. my eyes trace the outline of the ceiling. my heart starts to speak, but no words come from my lips. "God. do you see me. " i feel paper thin. 'I have messed up, yet again. Help me get back close to you. Want you whispering in my ear. want your words to be uttered from these lips." the tail of the beast slides down. the grip begins to loosen. oxygen begins to fill my lungs. my heart rate slows. the beast falls off. the room stops spinning. all is calm. all except a still small voice.

movin on in my mind

2010-08-04T17:52:00.002-04:00

ever needed a change or were just ready for one..... got your mind already there, your mind has moved in.... your body feels like you are living in more than one reality and you want to just have one... the here and now be done.... like you can see the future and you want to be there. can't focus on God like that. hard to focus on anything with all that expectation.

know many people who cheated on their spouses and i just wonder what made them do it? guess their minds moved on.... forgot what they had, saw greener pastures only to find out that the grass there too was dead.

then there is the couple buying a house. the search is fun. and then they find the one and well, their mind has moved in. she knows just where to put the coffee pot, he knows just where to store his tools. they can't sleep. they put the offer in and get the house. (and they live happily ever after)

Lord, do we ever want to live for you. Do for you. Follow you. Serve you. Be who you called us to be. Lord, help our minds not to move on without you.

I am open to you God.... wherever, whenever, however. Just want to make sure it is God and not me with my mind moving on.

pain

2010-07-17T20:27:00.001-04:00

knowing why i am having such pain, should at least ease my mind. i am not persuaded that the dr's diagnosis is all correct though. feel like i am in labor half the time with back pains and front pains. feel miserable.

disgusting to God

2010-06-27T09:19:00.004-04:00

what disgusts God? is it the gay dr or the lesbian friend? is it the person who commits murder or the prisoner behind locked doors? is it the neighbor growing pot or the one in the home owners associtation who just won't mow his lawn? it might just be that father that doesn't seek HIM or the pastor's wife that just didn't make time for HIM. i think my list could go on and own. the truth be known they are all the same. each little sin or big sin.... that separates us from God. who am i to judge, who am i to say. what disgusts me might not be what disgusts God. why not?

buried

2010-06-26T19:39:00.002-04:00

you don't know how buried you are until you try to dig yourself out..... (quote from tv show Buried Alive) the guy continued by saying I am just taking it one day at a time.

wow. powerful words. he probably has no idea what he has said. we have no idea how buried we are in sin until we try to dig ourselves out. only to find, if we have Jesus' blood covering our hearts and lives that He holds the dirty shovel in HIS hands.... He has dug us out.

King Hezekiah

2010-06-07T09:38:00.002-04:00

2 Chronicles 29

King Hezekiah

^{1 -2} Hezekiah became king when he was twenty-five years old and was king in Jerusalem for twenty-nine years. His mother was Abijah daughter of Zechariah. In God's opinion he was a good king; he kept to the standards of his ancestor David.

^{3 -9} In the first month of the first year of his reign, Hezekiah, having first repaired the doors of The Temple of God, threw them open to the public. He assembled the priests and Levites in the court on the east side and said, "Levites, listen! Consecrate yourselves and consecrate The Temple of God—give this much-defiled place a good housecleaning. Our ancestors went wrong and lived badly before God—they discarded him, turned away from this house where we meet with God, and walked off. They boarded up the doors, turned out the lights, and canceled all the acts of worship of the God of Israel in the holy Temple. And because of that, God's anger flared up and he turned those people into a public exhibit of disaster, a moral history lesson—look and read! This is why our ancestors were killed, and this is why our wives and sons and daughters were taken prisoner and made slaves.

^{10 -11} "I have decided to make a covenant with the God of Israel and turn history around so that God will no longer be angry with us. Children, don't drag your feet in this! God has chosen you to take your place before him to serve in conducting and leading worship—this is your life work; make sure you do it and do it well."

In God's opinion, Hezekiah was a good king. In my opinion, God's opinion is the only one that counts. God has an opinion on how I am living my life. Am I serving God with all that I am? Is my heart all in? Does he think that I am a surface server? Am I dragging my feet with God? Am I doing my life work WELL?

mass

2010-06-01T20:45:00.002-04:00

2 Chronicles 16:9 "God is always on the alert, constantly on the lookout for people who are totally committed to him. You were foolish to go for human help when you could have had God's help. Now you're in trouble—one round of war after another. "^{11 -14} A full account of Asa is written in The Chronicles of the Kings of Judah. In the thirty-ninth year of his reign Asa came down with a severe case of foot infection.

He didn't ask God for help, but went instead to the doctors.

Then Asa died; he died in the forty-first year of his reign. They buried him in a mausoleum that he had built for himself in the City of David. They laid him in a crypt full of aromatic oils and spices. Then they had a huge bonfire in his memory.

John 12

^{27 -28}"Right now I am storm-tossed. And what am I going to say? 'Father, get me out of this'? No, this is why I came in the first place. I'll say, 'Father, put your glory on display.'"

^{36 -40}Jesus said all this, and then went into hiding. All these God-signs he had given them and they still didn't get it, still wouldn't trust him.

knowing it is there, i turn to you. i cling. not too scared. reassured because of who you are. wanting more than ever for your glory to be on display. show up and show out God. thank you for your quiet whispers. i need them. use the charity of others to bring clarity to my family. we trust in you.

bypass

2010-05-07T07:03:00.002-04:00

2 Kings 1

¹After Ahab died, Moab rebelled against Israel.

² One day Ahaziah fell through the balcony railing on the rooftop of his house in Samaria and was injured. He sent messengers off to consult Baal-Zebub, the god of Ekron, "Am I going to recover from this accident?" ^{3 -4} God's angel spoke to Elijah the Tishbite: "Up on your feet! Go out and meet the messengers of the king of Samaria with this word, 'Is it because there's no God in Israel that you're running off to consult Baal-Zebub god of Ekron?' Here's a message from the God you've tried to bypass: 'You're not going to get out of that bed you're in—you're as good as dead already.'" Elijah delivered the message and was gone.

Most of us like short cuts... we can get to our destination quicker and seem to be added time to do other things. Even people of Biblical times sometimes chose the shorter path, the seemingly easy way. They were regular people doing what people today do.... just maybe a different way. Sitting on a balcony railing, Ahaziah fell. And not just a small fall. He was injured. He wanted to know "Am I going to recover from this?" Don't we still do these things. We fall or fell at something and get injured in the process. We want to know...."Hey, will I recover and move on from this?" Ahaziah wanted to bypass God's message for him. Do I want to really hear what God has to say or would I rather bypass His will, His way and run after my own out come?

Simon saw

2010-05-07T07:00:00.002-04:00

Luke 33 -34 "They didn't waste a minute. They were up and on their way back to Jerusalem. They found the Eleven and their friends gathered together, talking away: "It's really happened! The Master has been raised up—Simon saw him!"

³⁵Then the two went over everything that happened on the road and how they recognized him when he broke the bread.

They said "Simon saw him!" Why didn't they say "We all saw him!"

dan 8 not the one

2010-04-30T07:16:00.003-04:00

^{17 -19} "My father David had it in his heart to build a Temple honoring the Name of God, the God of Israel. But God told him 'It was good that you wanted to build a Temple in my honor—most commendable! But you are not the one to do it—your son will build it to honor my Name.'

^{20 -21} "God has done what he said he would do: I have succeeded David my father and ruled over Israel just as God promised; and now I've built a Temple to honor God, the God of Israel, and I've secured a place for the Chest that holds the covenant of God, the covenant that he made with our ancestors when he brought them up from the land of Egypt."

^{22 -25} Before the entire congregation of Israel, Solomon took a position before the Altar, spread his hands out before heaven, and prayed,

O God, God of Israel, there is no God like you in the skies above or on the earth below who unswervingly keeps covenant with his servants and relentlessly loves them as they sincerely live in obedience to your way. You kept your word to David my father, your personal word. You did exactly what you promised—every detail. The proof is before us today!

David, the man after God's own heart, had good intentions. We can even say godly intentions. Yet God did not choose him to build the temple. He wanted to build the temple, but God had someone else in mind. Even the godly aren't always chosen to do certain things for God. We may have good, godly intentions and still not be the one for the job.

out of the way

2010-03-29T07:00:00.002-04:00

Luke 5:16 As often as possible Jesus withdrew to out-of-the-way places for prayer.

some days we are the ones in the way. God beacons us to come, to sit with him, but our plans and agenda's push us in another direction. then we wonder, who moved? even good things aren't necessarily godly, even good intentions can move us from the path. yet He beacons with His still small voice "come"..... withdraw to an out to the way place and meet with me. do what I tell you to do regardless of the jeering crowd, regardless of what they say and how they may treat you. "come". I see the end results, I am your guide, I am the way, I see YOUR heart. don't worry about "theirs". pull out into the deep waters. cast your net once again. pray. wait. watch.

hands in your pockets

2010-03-27T09:00:00.004-04:00

Thurs. March 25 Having one of those weeks of discouragement. Knowing that 5 kids from our small church would not be participating in our Egg Hunt due to Ball. Had a reminder from God that this was outreach and that I shouldn't so much worry about our own kids if we are to reach "them."

Outreach means taking your hands out of your pocket.

*Update March 27
Today's egg hunt was GREAT! So much better than my mind would comprehend. We had 800 eggs, 56 hot dogs with some left over and 56 people....... and 2/3 of the people were visitors!!!!!! Go God. May I never question you again!

achan and joshua

2010-03-21T08:46:00.002-04:00

^{joshua 7:20 -21} Achan answered Joshua, "It's true. I sinned against God, the God of Israel. This is how I did it. In the plunder I spotted a beautiful Shinar robe, two hundred shekels of silver, and a fifty-shekel bar of gold, and I coveted and took them. They are buried in my tent with the silver at the bottom."

He saw, he coveted, he took, he buried.

joshua 9: ¹⁴ The men of Israel looked them over and accepted the evidence. But they didn't ask God about it.

They did not ask God about it.

restraints

2010-03-18T06:51:00.002-04:00

Oh, to love God and serve God without restraints! What is holding you back, me back from serving God with all we are, all we have? Money, debt, doubt, fear or what other's expect (all of these and the list goes on and on)????

Easter

2010-03-18T06:49:00.001-04:00

Mark 15:^{40 -41}There were women watching from a distance, among them Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of the younger James and Joses, and Salome. When Jesus was in Galilee, these women followed and served him, and had come up with him to Jerusalem.

^{42 -45}Late in the afternoon, since it was the Day of Preparation (that is, Sabbath eve), Joseph of Arimathea, a highly respected member of the Jewish Council, came. He was one who lived expectantly, on the lookout for the kingdom of God. Working up his courage, he went to Pilate and asked for Jesus' body. Pilate questioned whether he could be dead that soon and called for the captain to verify that he was really dead. Assured by the captain, he gave Joseph the corpse.

^{46 -47}Having already purchased a linen shroud, Joseph took him down, wrapped him in the shroud, placed him in a tomb that had been cut into the rock, and rolled a large stone across the opening. Mary Magdalene and Mary, mother of Joses, watched the burial.

calluses

2010-03-17T07:28:00.002-04:00

Deut. 30: God, your God, will cut away the thick calluses on your heart and your children's hearts, freeing you to love God, your God, with your whole heart and soul and live, really live. God, your God, will put all these curses on your enemies who hated you and were out to get you.

^{8 -9} And you will make a new start, listening obediently to God, keeping all his commandments that I'm commanding you today. God, your God, will outdo himself in making things go well for you: you'll have babies, get calves, grow crops, and enjoy an all-around good life. Yes, God will start enjoying you again, making things go well for you just as he enjoyed doing it for your ancestors.

¹⁰ But only if you listen obediently to God, your God, and keep the commandments and regulations written in this Book of Revelation. Nothing halfhearted here; you must return to God, your God, totally, heart and soul, holding nothing back.

we have a lady in our church that had foot surgery....where the dr. removed some calluses. she is 80 years old and who knows how old the calluses are.... who knows how long she has walked with them. she finally got to the point that they caused her so much pain that she had to "deal" with them the right way and have surgery to remove them. i am sure if she would have gotten them removed months before, years before, the surgery would have been easier to recover from and walking much less painful.

sin is just like that. we do "it" and walk on taking it with us, when all along we need surgery..... the longer we put off the repentance, the easier we think dragging the sin becomes...until one day........ we no longer need a simple procedure...... we now need major surgery. not to repair the heart, but to get a new one.

the curse, the confusion, the contrariness

2010-03-16T08:32:00.002-04:00

Deut. 28:20 "God will send The Curse, The Confusion, The Contrariness down on everything you try to do until you've been destroyed and there's nothing left of you—all because of your evil pursuits that led you to abandon me."

Father, I see my sin. I know my mistakes. My past haunts me, my present feels numb, and my future makes me scared. I know You want to use us. I know you want to use Me. I need a clean slate, a new start. I give you my past and I say I am sorry for letting you down, for not following your will and way. I have forgotten what repentance truly is. Show me again. Give me feelings of joy in replace of this numbness. Help me to love when I don't want to love, to be friendly when I just want to not be noticed. Forgive the lack of faith for today and the future. Don't over look it. I need Your help! Father God, I need You to show up and show out in ways that I can't image. I really want to see you working in Me.

heart, eyes, ears

2010-03-16T08:30:00.000-04:00

Lord, bless me with an understanding heart, perceptive eyes, and attentive ears.

2010-03-15T07:05:00.001-04:00

Deut. 25:3 "If the guilty one deserves punishment, the judge will have him prostrate himself before him and lashed as many times as his crime deserves, but not more than forty. If you hit him more than forty times, you will degrade him to something less than human."

They must have known this by having done this to someone before.

dependable God

2010-03-09T09:55:00.001-05:00

Deut. 7:9 "God, your God, is God indeed, a God you can depend upon. He keeps his covenant of loyal love with those who love him and observe his commandments for a thousand generations."

feed

2010-02-15T20:43:00.000-05:00

Psalm 37:3 "Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on
His faithfulness." (NKJV)

sleeping old dog

2010-02-12T06:15:00.002-05:00

^{Matt 26:39}Going a little ahead, he fell on his face, praying, "My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?"

^{40 -41}When he came back to his disciples, he found them sound asleep. He said to Peter, "Can't you stick it out with me a single hour? Stay alert; be in prayer so you don't wander into temptation without even knowing you're in danger. There is a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there's another part that's as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire."

⁴²He then left them a second time. Again he prayed, "My Father, if there is no other way than this, drinking this cup to the dregs, I'm ready. Do it your way."

^{43 -44}When he came back, he again found them sound asleep. They simply couldn't keep their eyes open. This time he let them sleep on, and went back a third time to pray, going over the same ground one last time.

^{45 -46}When he came back the next time, he said, "Are you going to sleep on and make a night of it? My time is up, the Son of Man is about to be handed over to the hands of sinners. Get up! Let's get going! My betrayer is here."

With Swords and Clubs

^{47 -49}The words were barely out of his mouth when Judas (the one from the Twelve) showed up, and with him a gang from the high priests and religious leaders brandishing swords and clubs. The betrayer had worked out a sign with them: "The one I kiss, that's the one—seize him." He went straight to Jesus, greeted him, "How are you, Rabbi?" and kissed him.

^{50 -51}Jesus said, "Friend, why this charade?"

Then they came on him—grabbed him and roughed him up. One of those with Jesus pulled his sword and, taking a swing at the Chief Priest's servant, cut off his ear.

Elisha burns the plow

2010-02-07T14:52:00.003-05:00

Elisha slaughtered his oxen and burned his plow so he would not have an opportunity to return if God did not come through.

The call of Elisha.

Elijah found Elisha by Divine direction, not in the schools of the prophets, but in the field; not reading, or praying, or sacrificing, but ploughing. Idleness is no man's honour, nor is husbandry any man's disgrace. An honest calling in the world, does not put us out of the way of our heavenly calling, any more than it did Elisha. His heart was touched by the Holy Spirit, and he was ready to leave all to attend Elijah. It is in a day of power that Christ's subjects are made willing;

nor would any come to Christ unless they were thus drawn. It was a discouraging time for prophets to set out in. A man that had consulted with flesh and blood, would not be fond of Elijah's mantle; yet Elisha cheerfully leaves all to accompany him. When the Saviour said to one and to another, Follow me, the dearest friends and most profitable occupations were cheerfully left, and the most arduous duties done from love to his name. May we, in like manner, feel the energy of his grace working in

us mightily, and by unreserved submission at once, may we make our calling and election sure.

(Taken from 1 Kings 19 - Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary on the Bible)

more than enough

2010-02-05T07:06:00.000-05:00

Exodus 36

¹ "Bezalel and Oholiab, along with everyone whom God has given the skill and know-how for making everything involved in the worship of the Sanctuary as commanded by God, are to start to work."

^{2 -3} Moses summoned Bezalel and Oholiab along with all whom God had gifted with the ability to work skillfully with their hands. The men were eager to get started and engage in the work. They took from Moses all the offerings that the Israelites had brought for the work of constructing the Sanctuary. The people kept on bringing in their freewill offerings, morning after morning.

^{4 -5} All the artisans who were at work making everything involved in constructing the Sanctuary came, one after another, to Moses, saying, "The people are bringing more than enough for doing this work that God has commanded us to do!"

^{6 -7} So Moses sent out orders through the camp: "Men! Women! No more offerings for the building of the Sanctuary!"

The people were ordered to stop bringing offerings! There was plenty of material for all the work to be done. Enough and more than enough.

pig pods

2010-02-04T21:38:00.002-05:00

i was in the cafeteria today and actually realized what the prodigal son was feeling. he once had it all or had what he desired... threw it all away and now was in need. real need. he lost his wants. he gained real need. i often wondered how he could want what the pigs were eating. how or who in their right minds would long for the pods that belonged to a pig? i felt it a little today. saw all that food being thrown away. those kids had so much... more than they desired, good healthy food and it was being emptied into the can. all i could think was about how good it probably tasted and i just wanted a roll. so God, ya got my attention today. return to the Father's house. He has all you need.

Moses clarity

2010-02-03T07:31:00.001-05:00

(Message) Ex. 33:^{12 -13} Moses said to God, "Look, you tell me, 'Lead this people,' but you don't let me know whom you're going to send with me. You tell me, 'I know you well and you are special to me.' If I am so special to you, let me in on your plans. That way, I will continue being special to you. Don't forget, this is your people, your responsibility."

¹⁴ God said, "My presence will go with you. I'll see the journey to the end."

^{15 -16} Moses said, "If your presence doesn't take the lead here, call this trip off right now. How else will it be known that you're with me in this, with me and your people? Are you traveling with us or not? How else will we know that we're special, I and your people, among all other people on this planet Earth?"

heaven or hell

2010-01-26T18:51:00.001-05:00

earth is hell compared to heaven
earth is heaven compared to hell

shut ya mouth

2010-01-26T18:50:00.001-05:00

Exodus 14:14 "God will fight the battle for you. And you? You keep your mouths shut!"

Wow. What a word for today!

today

2010-01-14T08:03:00.002-05:00

the future seems so far away, but i often forget that yesterday is now today. what a privilege to be a vessel in God's hands.

God still speaks

2010-01-14T06:58:00.003-05:00

seeking God? perhaps God has spoken but we are not satisfied with HIS answer.

seeking God like crazy

2010-01-04T09:13:00.003-05:00

some days seeking God frustrates me. yep, i said it. it frustrates me. wanting so badly to hear his voice say this is the way or this isn't the way..... walk here, wait here, go here. i so badly want to please him that it just makes me sick thinking i might not.... that i might disappoint him once more... go the wrong way or shut the wrong door. God see my heart, hear my prayer, taste my tears, smell my fears, touch my feet and help me to move in the right direction or just stay here.

the sins of the people

2009-12-14T09:44:00.002-05:00

it is monday morning. one woman tries to cover the sins of her people. she works, she slaves to no avail. and one more try and their sins become hers. she has now ruined the pew of the church. edit undo would be perfect right now. to wake from this horror too. she willingly would die for her own sins now. death will happen... soon. they will take her life or what is left. she can not undo her endeavors. she hates her sin and that she tried to cover theirs. it should be a lesson learned, but nonetheless, the sins of the people will need to be covered... once again. but this time by HIM.

HOPE

2009-12-14T07:26:00.001-05:00

something supernatural goes on when you obey God and serve like you have been created to serve (Ritchie Miller, Avalon Church).

one needy one blind

2009-12-10T15:57:00.000-05:00

If a needy person has to tell you that he is in need there is something wrong with your outreach. Lord forgive me when I am spiritually blind to the needs of others.

big storm, small boat

2009-12-10T07:01:00.000-05:00

Nathan's devotional last night was on how Jesus calmed the storm(Matt 8:23-27). We may be in our big storm,the boat feels like it is about to sink and we may even question if God cares or even hears us, let alone sees what we are going through. The disciples shouted out to Jesus and he was awakened. Jesus asks 2 questions regarding fear and faith, then tells the storm to stop. Have I (you) shouted out to Him today?

Hallelujah Humbug

2009-12-04T19:21:00.002-05:00

just thinking about that first Christmas and how things haven't changed all that much. sure we have more conveniences than maybe they did, but we still have similar attitudes and world views. you see, that first Christmas there were the ones who stood in awe, the ones who bowed in wonder, those who bore gifts and beheld their KING. there were also doubters amongst the midst and those who were bitter and revengeful. the angels came, the wisemen and shepherds worshiped and adored and some how i have to believe there was Hallelujah in their hearts. yet their was at least one recorded that did not experience the Hallelujah of the first Christmas.... the Bible even records that he was disturb when he heard rumors that the king of the Jews had been born, later he was furious when he heard that the wisemen disobeyed him.... his name was not Scrooge, but Herod. he had Humbug in his heart and as far as i know, he died with it.

as i sit and ponder the meaning of Christmas, i have to ask myself the question, is there Hallelujah or Humbug in my heart? Do I have a little jealousy in my heart? Am I disturb by what others are giving or getting? Am I furious about what I don't have or can't have? Or am I standing in awe, bowing in wonder, bearing my soul and beholding my KING?

snap

2009-12-03T21:11:00.001-05:00

we have been noticing mouse poop in our cabinets in the kitchen. jon and nathan went and got traps yesterday and this afternoon caught one.... i told jon where there is one, there are probably many more. felt sorry for the little guy... think he got selfish... cause he had gotten all the cheese and then fell over the lip of the cabinet by the dishwasher and snap, he was gone.

hope and holiness

2009-11-30T06:58:00.002-05:00

Ezekiel a37:11'Our bones are dried up, our hope is gone, there's nothing left of us.'
Ezekiel 38:16 When the time's ripe, I'll unleash you against my land in such a way that the nations will recognize me, realize that through you, Gog, in full view of the nations, I am putting my holiness on display.

gold rush Christmas

2009-11-29T13:31:00.003-05:00

people of today are much the same as the folks of 1849. many of them rushed off by "vehicle" (wagon or boat) seeking all the gold they could acquire, enduring substantial hardships on the trip. today, men, women, boys and girls desire to acquire wealth in some form or fashion. most of us have a list, be it on paper or a mental one of things we want or desire. (our "hardship" may just be awaking early to a flat tire on black Friday.) though each individual miner of 1849 may have sought fulfillment with wealth in gold, few ever found it. few things have changed since then.... few will find satisfaction in the material.... or just enough to tide us over until next years list can be made. many returned home in the 1800's with little more than they started with. what about the folks of today?

road blocks

2009-11-12T19:00:00.002-05:00

so today didn't go quiet as planned. "just so happened" to call Sylvania Yarn before delivering cookies and the guy was pretty straight out on saying we couldn't deliver the cookies. guess i was more shocked than anything that someone would actually turn down an act of kindness. i am sure their reasonings were satisfying enough for him, but still left me thinking. all i could mentally see was satan laughing at the door and he wouldn't let us in..... but that wasn't stopping me from finding new unexpected recipients of God's goodness and grace. Road blocks, detours, stop signs and the voice of God. nothing like the sweetness of a mental pic of God opening HIS doors and saying what satan meant for bad, i have planned to work out for your good. satan would you like a cookie?

Holding onto Hope

2009-11-11T07:26:00.001-05:00

Hebrews 10:23 Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. 24 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. 25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near....35 So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! 36 Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.

confessions of a not so perfect pastor's wife part 1

2009-11-06T20:43:00.003-05:00

you know that lady that drives you nuts at church? she drives me nuts too.
you can't serve on every committee. don't expect me too.
guess what? the laundry didn't get done today, the kitchen is piled up with dishes and the floor needs a sweeping, much less mopping.
your time is valuable. mine is too. don't waste mine telling me of all the stuff your are going to do and don't leaving me to do it.
i still have to MAKE time with God. what is your excuse?
i would sleep in denim and believe that God doesn't care what you wear on Sunday's as long as you come wanting to draw near to Him , hear from Him and serve Him . i hate hose and slips.
my gumbo rocks even with okra!
i love afternoon naps.
i love hanging with the pastor and guess what? we sleep together!

so, some may stop and ponder, some may even question, but the end result remains the same.... pastor's aren't perfect and their wives aren't either.

just fishishin

2009-10-30T06:56:00.004-04:00

fishing requires extreme patience and low voices.. or so that was what daddy use to say. "if you talk too loud, you'll scare the fish away!" some days one could be out there by the pond for hours and never get a bite and other days you got bobble from the cork right away. it seems with fishin' there is no true garantee. but you could usually tell the first 30 minutes , whether or not you would be bringing home a net full or just a few. we would want to just give it up for the day when we see the fish just ain't biting..... pack the tackle box and go home.

i am sure Simon and his crew felt the same way. they had been fishing, not an hour, but all night. they had caught nothing. i just have to believe that maybe they wanted to prove their point and prove Jesus wrong.... "but IF you say so, we'll try again." (Living) Their loud shout made there partner boat come running. "soon BOTH boats were filled and on the VERGE of SINKING." i just have to wonder how they felt. they went from no fish to 2 boatloads.... SOON.

creeping in

2009-10-29T20:39:00.002-04:00

so, i told ya that saga of my glasses that the dog chewed. let me shovel deeper into the truth of it all. we all sin. we all make mistakes. we all knowingly do wrong at times. its like that little untruth that we tell or agree to. sin. it is like we are driving down the road and suddenly realize that our vision isn't what it used to be. sin. we can't really say it happened all at once... just little by little, each lie, each untruth, each.... and this sin that Satan is laughing at has caused us to need glasses, continued we become completely blind.... sin. it destroys eyesight. it blinds us to the truth of God. sin. such a small word with such a big price. sin.

trusting in plastic

2009-10-29T20:34:00.002-04:00

sometimes we just take things for granted. we eat, we sleep, we do what we do. then suddenly, without prior warning, something is gone. something is missing. yesterday i came face to face with this. i was sick the day before and who knows where i laid my glasses. well the dog knew. yep, started cleaning and disinfecting and sweeping, when there they lay on 'his' bed, chewed, mangled and destroyed. and now i am without my safety net. no glasses. no money.

cake walk

2009-10-26T16:21:00.002-04:00

yesterday, I was sat down by an 80 year old woman after church. she meant no harm other than to have her way.... cake walks are gamblin' and I don't approve of it at the church. in shock, all i could say was gamblin'. i have never heard of that before. apparently her mom raise them strict. i felt sorry for her as she said, they never played cards and Christmas trees should not be in a church. it really made me want to buy her a set of UNO cards for Christmas just for the heck of it. she stumbled to try to make a point of the gamblin' issue saying you walk around and maybe if you land on the number they call, you'll go home with a cake.

(so cindy might go to the football game and cheer for her team and just maybe we will win and if we do, i will go home with a little joy.... is that gamblin' too? Huh? Or what about going into the shoe store only to see a pair on sale plus you got another 20% off, is that gamblin' cause you got more than you thought or more than you deserve?)

i was polite, yet in the end it was fairly clear that her way was right and i felt judged. clearly life for her has been no cake walk. i know that this lady may have 20 years left or less. i really hope that God has a big surprise at the banquet table just for her.... perhaps he will allow her to do the cake walk.

tired

2009-08-24T18:32:00.002-04:00

taking these meds have made me really tired, yet my sinus infection is improving. got to spend some time with our McDonough friends yesterday and made me miss that place some. know we are here for a reason and know that we have not yet finished our purpose. dragging myself out of bed and just around today. really feel medicated. with a cup of coffee in hand, i feel as though i could go to bed now (6;35pm) and sleep through the night and into the next day. wonder about myself though. need to lose this weight and get to a point where i can tone. got a lot to do and don't know where to start and part of me doesn't want to.

string bikini

2009-07-22T20:50:00.002-04:00

diverted eye so easily. wanting to do right but thinking that good is best. when best and good are not even related. got opportunity around and seems so right. why would i be left in this desert. money's gone and seems no hope. saw a string bikini in the distance. seems good for the moment and we move that way. just want a chance to get wet for the day. loving the sun and hating the drought. hating the moving and wanting to plant... but wondering if this is it. saw where i was and miss parts of it a bunch. just can't imagine what God has in store. wanting it all, all the more. why didn't i do more at avalon.

death of pride

2009-06-17T21:46:00.002-04:00

broken spirit over something said. trying my best to be everything i can for God. didn't know this would mean walking on eggshells and pretending. satan winning and i am struggling. i know i am not perfect, why can't they see past my flaws. it gnaws at me. i feel my flesh crawl. makes me angry and sad and want to die. wish they could see the other side.

high heel shoe

2009-05-23T23:02:00.002-04:00

got her feelings on her shoulder, wanting to be and dress who she is... simple. got her rules and restrictions not allowing her to be. she changes her wardrobe for the 99th time. Sunday is tomorrow. the sogga unfolds again. she knows that what she is wearing isn't for Him anymore. the crowd looks on expectantly. hair all fixed and makeup piled to hide the brokenness inside her heart. she knows that today will be "the day" that she has been waiting for.... the day the pain will cease. she wears her pointy high heels and blood red lipstick. she receives her compliments with ease.... yet her mind wonders of the jeers of what would have been if she wore outfit 33. she returns home and cooks and cleans and then when the slumber of the day peeks.... it is time. she goes to the laundry room and throws herself onto her high heels. the blood spills and her pain has now ceased.

not giving up

2009-04-16T16:06:00.002-04:00

Not giving up on you, Lord. not giving up on a job with group insurance and a chance at one more pregnancy and healthy birth. i am not giving up. no, not giving up.

from 7 years back, barren

2009-04-14T17:26:00.001-04:00

All my life this was a dream, get married have kids
and the perfect dog. Two thirds have come true. No one
except the barren can fully understand. I have my
moments when this "thing" has left me numb. Other
times I feel the razors as they slide across my heart.
Silly how this "thing" does one. Somedays I can brush
comments off. Somedays it is like a noose upon my
neck. And just when you think you have controlled and
tamed it, it lashes back again. Why me God?
Other's approach you with your options. Sounds like
the pain could be lifted. You look into adoption and
the like and that only bites you too... maybe even
harder. Adoption sounds simple. Then you look into the
cost of loving something someone else didn't love or
want and the sting gets you again. I could love this
child completely and totally self says to me. The
sting of finances prevents even the thought. The sore
festers. The soul screams.

give

2009-03-31T06:14:00.000-04:00

Deut. 16:16-17 ....but they must not appear before the Lord without a gift for him. ¹⁷ All must give as they are able, according to the blessings given to them by the Lord your God.

expectations

2009-03-23T19:39:00.004-04:00

got this mental image of where i need to be.... running ahead of me. don't know how to get there or how i got here some days. great expectations and disappointment hover close. giving up would be so much easier, so i try not to give in. i shove on with my shovel in tow. guess i am getting a glimpse of how you feel about me. don't give up on me yet, Lord. i am trying. use these feeble attempts to follow you to accomplish your plan.

what God does

2009-03-19T06:12:00.000-04:00

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

6 word statements

2009-03-15T08:29:00.002-04:00

the great pretender. plays big church. (before)
not nearly perfect. driven by HIM. (after)

not a member.
won't release pew.

found true fulfillment.
followed after God.

Numbers 13

2009-03-09T08:06:00.001-04:00

³⁰ But Caleb tried to quiet the people as they stood before Moses. “Let’s go at once to take the land,” he said. “We can certainly conquer it!”

³¹ But the other men who had explored the land with him disagreed. “We can’t go up against them! They are stronger than we are!” ³² So they spread this bad report about the land among the Israelites: “The land we traveled through and explored will devour anyone who goes to live there. All the people we saw were huge. ³³ We even saw giants^h]">[h] there, the descendants of Anak. Next to them we felt like grasshoppers, and that’s what they thought, too!”

turning head

2009-03-04T10:41:00.003-05:00

all i want to do is turn your head... make you chase me.... but all i seem to accomplish is raising the dead. got my shovel in hand and regrets in my heart. wish i could go back and stop you and let you know how this feels. trying to live a Godly life and Satan somehow got a thread of my sweater. he pulls and tugs until i feel like there is nothing left. only to his demise... that is just the way Christ would have it.

sliding doors

2009-03-02T08:03:00.003-05:00

had a flashback to way back then. just thinking about a friend, a truck and an ice cream shop. seemed like those were complicated days. all seems way too real now. if i only knew then what i know now. would i go back and change just one slight thing... that might change the whole story line all over again? would my friend be alive? guess i have some regrets of steps i didn't take and wrongs that i would erase.

Father, forgive my ignorance back then and even today. don't want to have those same regrets and make those same mistakes. i know YOU stand in front of me leading all the way. feels like that blurs my vision of the steps i have to take. guess that is part of trusting YOU.

Lev. 12

2009-02-21T08:27:00.003-05:00

Lev. 12:⁶ “When the time of purification is completed for either a son or a daughter, the woman must bring a one-year-old lamb for a burnt offering and a young pigeon or turtledove for a purification offering. She must bring her offerings to the priest at the entrance of the Tabernacle.^c]">[c] ⁷ The priest will then present them to the Lord to purify her.^d]">[d] Then she will be ceremonially clean again after her bleeding at childbirth. These are the instructions for a woman after the birth of a son or a daughter.

Got this image in my head of this woman trying to get to her purification ritual.... baby in arms, tugging on a stubborn lamb, carrying a cage with a pigeon or turtledove and no husband in sight.

fireproof

2009-02-18T08:12:00.002-05:00

Lev. 6:¹³ Remember, the fire must be kept burning on the altar at all times. It must never go out.

Lev. 7:¹⁵ The meat of the peace offering of thanksgiving must be eaten on the same day it is offered. None of it may be saved for the next morning.

(our offering of thanksgiving must be fresh every morning and our love must be kept burning on the altar of our hearts at all times)

fireproof

2009-02-18T08:12:00.000-05:00

Lev. 6:¹³ Remember, the fire must be kept burning on the altar at all times. It must never go out.

funeral

2009-02-10T10:46:00.002-05:00

epitaphs are interesting to me. this is one on a grave stone in a small older graveyard in Calhoun, LA that i found doing a grave rubbing for a Sr. year in H.S. project. it is one that will forever be etched into my memory. i don't know the person or even remember when he or she died. the first word of the last line is the most important.. PREPARE.

Remember friend as you walk by
As you are now so once was I
As I am now you will surely be
Prepare thyself to follow me.

dirty walk

2009-02-10T08:32:00.003-05:00

holding my friends hand and walking down the road. so happy to have you walking with me. trees surround us and the pathway is dirty. my ear tunes to the sound of a pick up truck coming in behind us or may be just me. had this feeling someone was watching our every move. He has found us. my heart stops one beat. got the aroma of fresh brewed coffee in my nostrils. i awake from this dream walk.

Matt. 26: 58 Meanwhile, Peter followed him at a distance and came to the high priest’s courtyard. He went in and sat with the guards and waited to see how it would all end.

got this feeling Peter knew too. he knew that though he followed at a distance that HE saw him and was watching his every move. his pathway was dirty. he could have changed the story ending. yet, he chose to do nothing.

wait

2009-02-03T10:39:00.002-05:00

Ps. 27: 14 Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

sometimes i think i would rather have a "no" from God than a "wait". but more often it seems that is HIS response to me. it is hard in the waiting, but we are stretched and it seems that God can use us more in the aftermath of our want, desire or need. WAIT. just wait and see. it will turn out for HIS good in HIS time. just wait.

losing

2009-02-02T08:05:00.002-05:00

a piece of me exploded and you don't know how i feel. doing this one more day yet hating it all the less. got my list of things to do, get out of my way super girl has her torn cape and faded suit again. so many things out of order and disarray. just want to stop or run away. got a quarter in my pocket would you hear me if i told you. can't seem to do it. can't seem to be the person that i wish i was. got my disappointments and i don't know how to undo this spider web that has me trapped. got a heavy heart and no one knows. i hate it and i am not suppose to say it.

wondering where

2009-01-31T09:00:00.003-05:00

i am sitting here, just finishing reading my friends blog and flipping to my own. wonder where all the time has gone and why i can't leave a detailed account of Nathan and how he has grown. everything seems like a slow but fast whirlwind most days. trying to get a glimpse of YOU through this tunnel i feel that i am in. my heart has hands though. they reach towards YOU. no make up on, but YOU don't mind... YOU see me beyond that stuff anyways. oh, by the way, i know YOU like my cell phone.

exodus 8

2009-01-29T06:13:00.001-05:00

15 But when Pharaoh saw that relief had come, he became stubborn.^[c] He refused to listen to Moses and Aaron, just as the Lord had predicted.

(When they saw that relief had come and their troubles were gone, they went back to doing what they were doing. They did not show true repentance. Repentance should not be attempted for relief so we can get back to business as usual. It requires the fruit of change with no return.)

power push

2009-01-27T08:19:00.001-05:00

the strength of a push is more powerful when you got someone pushing the same direction with you.