wait

Ps. 27: 14 Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

sometimes i think i would rather have a "no" from God than a "wait". but more often it seems that is HIS response to me. it is hard in the waiting, but we are stretched and it seems that God can use us more in the aftermath of our want, desire or need. WAIT. just wait and see. it will turn out for HIS good in HIS time. just wait.

losing

a piece of me exploded and you don't know how i feel. doing this one more day yet hating it all the less. got my list of things to do, get out of my way super girl has her torn cape and faded suit again. so many things out of order and disarray. just want to stop or run away. got a quarter in my pocket would you hear me if i told you. can't seem to do it. can't seem to be the person that i wish i was. got my disappointments and i don't know how to undo this spider web that has me trapped. got a heavy heart and no one knows. i hate it and i am not suppose to say it.

wondering where

i am sitting here, just finishing reading my friends blog and flipping to my own. wonder where all the time has gone and why i can't leave a detailed account of Nathan and how he has grown. everything seems like a slow but fast whirlwind most days. trying to get a glimpse of YOU through this tunnel i feel that i am in. my heart has hands though. they reach towards YOU. no make up on, but YOU don't mind... YOU see me beyond that stuff anyways. oh, by the way, i know YOU like my cell phone.

exodus 8

15 But when Pharaoh saw that relief had come, he became stubborn.^[c] He refused to listen to Moses and Aaron, just as the Lord had predicted.

(When they saw that relief had come and their troubles were gone, they went back to doing what they were doing. They did not show true repentance. Repentance should not be attempted for relief so we can get back to business as usual. It requires the fruit of change with no return.)

power push

the strength of a push is more powerful when you got someone pushing the same direction with you.

self argument

got that really tired feeling going on this morning. i have those sinus bags under my eyes and i am arguing with myself. don't want to be up and would rather throw myself back into the bed. worried about my friend. she probably has something by now and is spreading it amongst her friends. she is still my friend and my heart bleeds for her.. knowing she is trying to fill a hole with something that is only eating the dirt out from under her. her hole is just getting deeper and i want to throw her a line. i argue with myself again and nothing is accomplished. i bow my head and pray one more time that she would return to the REAL YOU and exchange the lie for the TRUTH.

puttin it off

i know , i know. i am slacking in my.... abilities. i am finding it hard to manage facebook, email and blogging. guess i put one before the other. should have just gotten up running yesterday and today. i won't miss today though. i will do it during nap time if i must. got to run. busy day again today.