All In

i am a thief in some regards, stealing tid bits from here and there. wanting to be "all in" like pastor ritchie said.

feeling SEA SICK from ridding in this boat during this 4 year long hurricane. too poor to buy the book (One Month to Live by Kerry and Chris Shook) i scan the pages in this second trip to the bookstore.

Erma Bombeck "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say 'I used everything you gave me.'

William Shedd " A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for."

Winston Churchhill " If you are going through hell, keep going."

reeled in

standing on the shore line with an old cane pole in hand, she slings the line towards the still water with one thing on her mind. she knows there is something out there. she dreams about what it may look like, what the color it will be and the size. the non expecting swimmer snags the hook with her leg. she wasn't asking to be caught, thought she was fine just doing her thing. she is now being reeled into something far beyond her dreams.

so happy being able to serve. very happy with what little i can do. i now am the one standing on the bank with my warped pole and rusty hook. dreaming myself of something bigger than me. i wait for the tug of the line and a snag of the hook.

relief

guess you know how it feels to have to go to the bathroom really bad. used to hold it for 8 hours on a youth trip. feeling the awe of letting it go only to fill up on more drinks and do this all over again. felt some relief yesterday when ashley hired me! just don't want to let her down.

crossing the line

had issues with summer camp director from day one. don't really know the why's to it all. confused with where i am supposed to be and what i'm supposed to do, i draw my line in the sand and step across. waiting for a hopeful end to the matter. i sit here on my island of sand. saw the shark in the water and the boat that went by. prayed again and waved to the pilot. didn't know it was You. the shark rears its ugly head again. Now I am ready for you to let down the rope so i can climb on. Guard my decisions Lord.

heavy heart

checked the website for the school i have applied to work at again today. the position i had applied for is no longer there. in fact, there are no postings for that school at all now. i sit, not really disappointed, but more like panicked at what to do. if you are reading this you know our situation. i know that i should just be trusting and faith should just bubble out. i have a heavy heart. your back would break if you knew how truly heavy this is. so i sit and ponder again. Jesus, just show up and show out. Amen and amen.

united or untied

united or untied. the only difference in the spelling is the placing of one letter. which one are you?

blog for me for you

guess we all get busy, have times of clutter and confusion.... no time for quiet and life just gets loud. feel like the guy with the angel on one of his shoulders and the world screaming in his ear on the other. 2 more weeks of summer camp and it has really flown by. the kids are great, but wondering where I will move on to from here. praying to you Lord, that I don't have to make nate suffer and drag him to afterschool after a long day of kindergarten. i know YOU got it all in the works... but my waiting is just about to send me over the edge. i can only imagine 40 years in the wilderness... we are on number 4 right now. God, please don't make us go through much more.