half hearing

in and out of listening. i hear bits and pieces of what you have said. feeling like i am part of a whirl wind all over again. hard to sit still. hard to focus. wondering what will happen next, but not focused enough to see. feel like a crazy person most days... saying stupid things. trying to live a life of no regret, i drag my foot across the floor, head low and just doing stuff to do it. wondering who i am and why we are still afloat in this mess. how can i not have my questions and sadness..... needing the sun to warm my face. i hide my head and prepare for yet another day.