what you wanted

sitting here crying to myself. i really know that you have wanted this for awhile. it is always something here, why we couldn't give you what you wanted. i know how badly you want one or both of them. and i do think it would have benefited me for you to have a brother or sister or both of them to play with. hurts me on the inside. now i am older, much heavier and just out of breath at times. wish we could have gone ahead and tried while we could. thought we just couldn't then. want to be able to try to give you that someday. Lord, please don't make him wait much longer. want to give him what he's always wanted.