who am i

hating this shell of who i am and longing to be some other place. wanting desparately to smile again. depressed and stuck with this person staring back at me. can't breathe. wondering who i am and longing to be where YOU want me. i keep moving but it is all in vain. picking up clothes only to find them on the floor again, i walk into another room of my life. seems senseless most days. a thousand trips up the stairs should help me to see another person in the mirror of my life. it doesn't but i continue. slap me God and wake me up. wish i could and be there... wherever that is.