sun burn

late November and it's cool outside. sitting at the computer and i just can't hide. windows encase me and the sun beams in. got this burn on my forehead and i don't want to pretend. i don't read minds. that is not my super hero gift. i am just super mom with a cape that is STILL ripped. tried to take it to the cleaners to have it repaired. forgot it at home with my lair. so this burn on my face runs me now from my chair.

looking

looking, searching. finding out that ears have eyes. and eyes have ears. they study. they pier into the windows that may seem closed. went for that walk. wasn't by myself. still heard the sound of another's wrestling feet. i stopped and searched for a face i didn't see. i know you live there. hear it every time i pass. you cause me to search and dig beneath the leaves. got this idea and pure knowledge that this is where you want me to be.

live like your...

know now that it was your voice. probably knew it then to and didn't harken to it. LIVE LIKE YOU ARE MOVING. would have saved me time and energy and could have done more things like spending one more hour with my friends. didn't do it. suffering the consequence of disobedience.

live like your moving means you are doing something, getting rid of the stuff you don't need and hanging onto the stuff that you just can't live without ... the necessities. dare you to move. pull up the dumpster and reserve you a uhaul. you will find that all you really need is the smallest one they make.... the uhaul of your heart.

black rings, clear tear ducts

black rings underneath them both. loving many and trusting in them. at least i know my tear ducts work now. got a lot to do. and really overwhelmed on the inside. trying to push on and pretend that it will all get done. making time for what is important to ME. tiffany didn't know she worked with cry babies.

where'd she go

i heard that song, there she goes.... just wondering where'd she go? got that cape on again. trying to be super mom and super employee, along with all the other super charged roles today. trying my best to not get overloaded or frustrated in my move or lack of a move toward packing. holding out with my date with my friend.... last moment of one on one counseling with the pastor's wife... now we both are. sometimes i wish she'd just unload on me like i have her. guess it is all part of that spacial thing and trusting and confiding. Lord, what will i do without her when we move? guess i should fix my cape.

there she goes

feeling torn between the here in the midst of the clutter boxes and the need to minister to my friend. got to do something but who what when. feel her sadness through the email line. both are good which one is best. got so much on my plate, no time for rest. help me to just have time to do lunch with her on Thurs.

are you there, God, it's me cindy

never in all 4 moving times, have i ever cried so much. i mean, i have cried before. i really don't know why number 5 and tons of tears all means. we are leaving some special friends and connections. i just don't know why the sad heart. i pouted out to you tonight. i want great faith, believe that we are following after you, Lord. and then i hear this song being sung in the kitchen of my heart.... it's the end of the word as we know it.....

i believe You can sell our house in these hard economic times... even when my Christian friends have that doubting look on there face.... as if YOU, God, are having bad economic times too. i know you have called us and you can do the unbelievable, indescribable. we just want you to USE us. take this feeble attempt to serve you as an offering some how.