Sunday, March 30, 2008

the fence

she wrote of James chapter 4. she said she had told it all to God before. wanting and taking and wanting again. she asked with wrong motives and didn't receive. She begs to be humble and wants off the fence. she is reminded that it doesn't exist. she sees a line on the floor and knows that she must chose.... to live and to walk only in HIS shoes.

a buck twenty five

dressed up and ready. she spent a buck twenty five on it all. proud of her accomplishments, her head high, she walks tall. you wouldn't know it by the way she is dressed. little money, but outward appearance says success. she sits at her computer with a million things on her mind. she would keep typing, but she doesn't have time. the dog at her feet begs to go out, she stops she goes a super hero now.

Friday, March 28, 2008

dust

trying to clean. i've been away for a week. left the house in a hurry and things strowed. picking up the pieces and trying to do it all again, i sit now for a break with a dusty rag in hand. things look better down stairs. one more flight to go and probably won't get to it today. and then it will be one room at a time until it gets done. closet cleaned out and revamped from yesterday, makes me like it in there one more time. just wish i could keep it like that. i sigh and move on. dusty rag in the hamper now and eggs boiling on the stove. i move on. can't stay here and go with God.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

paying YOUR debt

had one of my lessons this week. a woman hadn't read the ad completely and bid on something she though was new. in my mind i argued it out. i reread the ad. she should have read more carefully. she offered to pay what she bid but didn't want them shipped. after agreeing to just take that and relist them, i heard the voice..... I paid YOUR debt, now YOU can pay hers. i inwardly agreed and was ready to pay the price when.... someone else bid.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

weeds

passing by them every day, just wanting them to disappear not wanting to spend MY time on them. tried that stuff once to pour on them. it got them alright and everything living in their sight. so now the only way to go, pull them each up by their own roots. a lot of work goes in to this, i sweat and thirst appears again.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

25 cents

my son was invited to a b party by the neighbor kid, sam, who is sweet as he can be. so off we flew today to the bowling ally for the celebration. i met his mom and the other parents and guest of the party and tried to mingle. maybe i have just sheltered my self from the lost, or maybe i have just been blind to the opportunities around me. i don't know but i was shocked at the kind of party his mom had had last night, and seeing her gay friends all over each other just made me freeze and i didn't know what to say. so again God, i didn't stand. could have at least mentioned church, but chose to stare, inwardly, my mouth gapped open. know for sure i could have just tried. please Lord, let this be found as some form of repentance. help me to look beyond who they are and what they do to be a witness for you. And please Lord, don't let me sale you Son for 25 cents.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

in my head

tossed and turned again last night. finally resorting to the couch. couldn't shut off my mind blog until really late or really early. trying to use my awake time wisely, i prayed for my friends cat and wondered how i may have missed You in all this today. trying to be more aware of Your presence, i poke and prod, did i even see You today? was that You in the hall, was that You in the car beside mine or were you behind the eyes of the girl at the register? have i missed You, ignored You for the 21st time today?

Sunday, March 9, 2008

don't preach to me

got that feeling again. don't mean to be preachy. just want to move on and have real joy again. don't want to force the same feeling on you. or heck, maybe i just want you to catch it too. count me in. i am gonna do and keep moving forward regardless of the funk on our tires. i am not gonna stay stuck here. maybe it's that moment of positive thinking. i create my own excitement just thinking that i am wanted and needed somehow in the church we are in. who knows what even this may become. don't just want to sit down for a service... when it's my time to serve.

Acts14:22
"We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God."

Thursday, March 6, 2008

thinking

had someone in the family say something to my husband without thinking.... had to not be truly thinking. know she has no idea how that has impacted him and wounded his already bruised and bloody spirit. just want to prove them ALL wrong now. just want to say i can't, we can't but God can.

Mark 11;12 "Have faith in God."

Morning and Evening: Little faith will save a person, but little faith can't do GREAT things for God.

Monday, March 3, 2008

cool bone

getting ready and trying to look nice, it's lunch with the pastor's wife. wondering what she's thinking and what she thinks about me, I pull out the longest bone that i can find. got my cool bone in, yet trying to act myself. Hearing God say "My grace is sufficient for you(2 cor. 12:9).... you can take the cool bone out."

Morning and Evening March 4
"God's grace is illustrated and magnified in the poverty and trial of believers. Saints bear up under every discouragement, believing that all things work together for their good, and that out of apparent evils a real blessing shall ultimately spring- that their God will either work a deliverance for them speedily, or most assuredly support them in the trouble, as long as He is pleased to keep them in it..... There is a lighthouse out at sea..... if the winds did not blow upon it, we should not know how firm and secure it was."

Sunday, March 2, 2008

strawberry farm

enjoyed our time picking strawberries last year and sure loved eating them with you. thought we'd do that again this year, but our church is building right on top of the berries we picked. guess our harvest will be a little different this year. and perhaps, we can find another place to pick our berries.