give

Deut. 16:16-17 ....but they must not appear before the Lord without a gift for him. ¹⁷ All must give as they are able, according to the blessings given to them by the Lord your God.

expectations

got this mental image of where i need to be.... running ahead of me. don't know how to get there or how i got here some days. great expectations and disappointment hover close. giving up would be so much easier, so i try not to give in. i shove on with my shovel in tow. guess i am getting a glimpse of how you feel about me. don't give up on me yet, Lord. i am trying. use these feeble attempts to follow you to accomplish your plan.

what God does

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

6 word statements

the great pretender. plays big church. (before)
not nearly perfect. driven by HIM. (after)


not a member.
won't release pew.

found true fulfillment.
followed after God.

Numbers 13

³⁰ But Caleb tried to quiet the people as they stood before Moses. “Let’s go at once to take the land,” he said. “We can certainly conquer it!”

³¹ But the other men who had explored the land with him disagreed. “We can’t go up against them! They are stronger than we are!” ³² So they spread this bad report about the land among the Israelites: “The land we traveled through and explored will devour anyone who goes to live there. All the people we saw were huge. ³³ We even saw giants^h]">[h] there, the descendants of Anak. Next to them we felt like grasshoppers, and that’s what they thought, too!”

turning head

all i want to do is turn your head... make you chase me.... but all i seem to accomplish is raising the dead. got my shovel in hand and regrets in my heart. wish i could go back and stop you and let you know how this feels. trying to live a Godly life and Satan somehow got a thread of my sweater. he pulls and tugs until i feel like there is nothing left. only to his demise... that is just the way Christ would have it.

sliding doors

had a flashback to way back then. just thinking about a friend, a truck and an ice cream shop. seemed like those were complicated days. all seems way too real now. if i only knew then what i know now. would i go back and change just one slight thing... that might change the whole story line all over again? would my friend be alive? guess i have some regrets of steps i didn't take and wrongs that i would erase.

Father, forgive my ignorance back then and even today. don't want to have those same regrets and make those same mistakes. i know YOU stand in front of me leading all the way. feels like that blurs my vision of the steps i have to take. guess that is part of trusting YOU.